god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
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