I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
Randomize