She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
We're too hungover to prance.
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
Randomize
