That's when you crack a 10am beer
My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just fell asleep masturbating. I'm no longer surprised i'm single. I can't even pleasure myself.
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
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