is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
Sorry about my sloppy drunk texts. I'm not sure talking about banging a near dead Jimmy Stewart was my finest moment
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
he high fived his dick after we had sex
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
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