I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
Randomize
