It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
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