i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize
