She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
I'm sobbing to NWA
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
Randomize