K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
Randomize
