I need help removing her.
My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
Randomize
