You got in a fight last night?
Yeah! Some dude in the bathroom...he was standing there and I notice he's got the same shirt as me on so I'm like...dude you should have called me, we look like idiots...he didn't say anything...so i got pissed and hit him...completely decimated and my hand was all bloody and covered with glass afterward...weird dude, never saw him again that night or since.
Um...Did this guy happen to look almost exactly like you?
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
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