i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
Hello my rib-scented angel!
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
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