her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
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