you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
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