u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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