I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
Randomize
