my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
You remember that guy i fucked in Ireland who stopped in the middle to talk about why he had 8 pillows on his bed? Yeah he's following me on twitter...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
Randomize