I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
Driving from bar to bar trying to recover all of the possessions I've drunkenly lost over the course of the past few nights. Actual nadir of my life and absolute height of shamblyness.
Props for using the word nadir
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
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