puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
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