Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
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