Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
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please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
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We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
where are my pants?
in the oven.
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
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