Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
Randomize