Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
Randomize
