He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
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