doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
hi, I love you... and I'm sorry your floor is covered in popcorn, your cabinet is broken, all your alcohol is gone, you're 80 dollars poorer, everything in your bedside table is soaked in beer, austin slept in your bed in those disgusting underwear, I made out with your toilet seat, and for talking to your mom with a four loko in my hand
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