I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
Randomize
