I molested 6 butterflies tonight
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
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