Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
Found the puke drawer
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
Randomize
