"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
Randomize
