Please, let me fuck your mom
I just projectile vomited in a Methodist church parking lot. If Jesus didn't love me before he sure as hell doesn't now.
How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
Randomize