he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
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