Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
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