His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
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