that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
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