my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
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