It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
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