The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
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