dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
I just got a text from a stranger offering to shave my asshole. I've been sober and out of town for a week, are you using my number as a dial-a-dumping again?
Randomize
