Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
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