she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
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