margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
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