When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize
