On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
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