why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
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