dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
Randomize
