MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
