this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize