Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
Randomize
