"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
Randomize
