She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i want to swaddle you in tequila
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
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