We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
