i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
I wish there were birth control emojis
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
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