"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
Randomize
