I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
i haven't been laid since the bush administration. it's frustrating.
Some advice for success: 1) Go ugly early, it saves you time and money; 2) If you can't pork a princess, pound a pig for practice; and 3) Beauty is only a light switch away.
ur like the dr phil of bizarro world.
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
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