Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
Randomize