you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
Randomize
