last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
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he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
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I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
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