I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
Randomize