something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
Randomize
