idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
Randomize
