i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
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