nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
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