i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
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