So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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