he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
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