You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Randomize
