I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
Randomize