miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
Randomize
