Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
Randomize
