What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
Randomize
