I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
He did a backflip because drugs
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
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