Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 🍞🍷
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
Randomize
